How To Live Inexpensively - Alternate Title: How to be a Cheap Parent

EVERYONE is feeling the budget crunch. I drove by the gas station this morning and it was $3.62. Literally an HOUR LATER I drove by again and it was $3.66. It's getting crazy! I've been talking to a lot of people lately who are freaking out and who don't know what to do. They have asked me what I do to live a relatively inexpensive, yet enjoyable life (by enjoyable I mean I have technology and running toilets). Here are some of my little tips on how to live inexpensively.

TIP #1: Don't Always Buy in Bulk

We went to the grocery store today and one thing that always shocks me is people who refuse to by anything if its not in bulk. Yes, bulk can definitely save you tons of money, but it can waste you money as well. Let's use a watermelon as an example. If you buy a whole watermelon and only eat a half of it, you're wasting money! Better to buy a half a watermelon in the first place. The same holds true for bags of sugar and things like that - if you're not going to use all of it and will be wasting some of it, don't get it in bulk!!

My opinion is that if you have enough leftovers in your fridge to feed your family for a weekend, you've got too much. I try my best to only make enough food for the four of us, and to use the few leftovers I have (like a piece of chicken, ect) for Scott's lunch. You're not feeding an army! I believe that you should never have more than one or two leftovers in the fridge at any given time. And remember: if you put it in the fridge to save, USE IT!

TIP #2: Avoid the Theaters

Around here it costs at least $7.50 to go to the movie theater. So say you take four people (two adults and two kids), you're topping $30 before you stop by the snack counter! Instead, rent a DVD or two and turn your living room into your own theater. Throw tons of blankets on the floor or pull out the bed in the couch if you have one. Put as many pillows as you can find in your living room - basically, make it look like a harem. Then get treats you love, like popcorn (which is under $.50 a bag), soda, chocolate (you can even get the chocolates they sell at the theater for much less at the grocery store).

You can even do this with two adults! Instead of going out for a date, stay in! Make it special, though, by getting "forbidden" foods. In our case, we LOVE Tyson Any'tizers, especially the Honey BBQ chicken wings. Dip them in a bit of ranch and they're delicious (even without the ranch they're awesome). I bought a HUGE bag today for $9.00, which will feed both Scott and I (along with some garlic breadsticks we had from Toad's fundraiser) and there will be a few leftover for snacking on tomorrow.

TIP #3: Why Cell?

Do you have a cell phone AND a landline? Why?! There are a few (a very few) situations in which it makes sense to have both, but the majority of the time, people get cell phones when they don't need one! I remember people I used to work with having conversations exactly like this:

"I know - I'm so damn broke. I had to ask my landlord for an extension, and my car payment is due tomorrow and I don't have they money for it. It sucks. So, have you seen my new cell?"

If you have no legitimate reason for it, DROP THE CELL. If you can get cell reception at your house, DROP THE LANDLINE. We can't get cell reception at our house so we still have our landline, but NO CELL...when I'm grocery shopping I don't need to hear Scott yapping in my ear that he wants this and that for $70 a month!

TIP #4: Give Up Bad Habits

With the price of gas and food and everything else rising, it just makes sense to give up some of your expensive bad habits! Let's use cigs as an example. Before Scott quit (again) a year ago, he was spending about $15 a week on cigs (about a half a pack a day or so). This adds up to $60 a month, which, in turn, is $720 a year! That $60 a month is a good chunk of change on a grocery bill (I usually spend between $80 and $90 a week at the grocery store). The same holds for Starbucks and things like that - if you can live without it, try to. It makes it that much more special when you buy one for a treat here and there!

There are tons of little things that we do to save money, but I'm not obsessive about it. I try to make sure that we have enough to pay our bills and, like everyone else, I occasinally slip up and spend too much on something, but I try to do the best I can with the everyday things so that I can afford to slip up occasionally, or to take the family out to an amusement park. We cut on some of the smaller things in order to enjoy some of the bigger things.

Snippits In Pictures

I've got a few photos to show you this Friday! It's not often that I get the time/ambish to go onto the desktop and download pics, but today, I did! Hooray! So here's what's been going on, photo style, in the insane household of Scott and Randi!

To start with, we got Super Mario Kart: Wii!

Focus Toad-san...

Daddy took some time to teach Babygirl how to drive

And later crashed as the two battled it out, head to head

Remember the great donut-making expidition we had in my kitchen/dining room a few weeks ago? Aunt T stopped by to lend a hand and she and Babygirl did much of the shaping of the donuts

And this is what it looks like when you're sitting in the boring van on a boring Saturday when you have tons of boring errands to do...

One of my favorite new photos - Babygirl having some "pouting/bored" time at the park a week or so ago

Hooray! Toad isn't the shortest one on the team! He fits right in! Now if he could only learn to actually catch the ball...

This is my other favorite photo. Babygirl is giving it her ALL at a different park. It has this little dump truck-thingy where you scoop up the sand. She's doing her best! Don't get a hernia!

Ever wonder what I see every night when the kiddos are in bed? I knew you did! I usually work in the dining room on the laptop, and when I look down, this is what I see...

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Tonight we're off to see a wrestling event in our area....Toad and Scott are beyond psyched. Toad woke up at 5:30 because he's so excited! Am I excited? Only to see what kind of shots I can get of men in spandex...that's if Scott doesn't break my camera before we get there! He's heading up early to try to catch some of the wrestlers, while Babygirl, Toad and I head to a birthday party for one of Babygirl's friends. Then, Saturday, Toad has his first baseball game. Can someone send me some Calgon? Or lots, and LOTS of alcohol...it's gonna be a long weekend!

Forbidden Wednesday - 6th Edition

I now know that there are a few people who come to this site on Wednesdays and wind up covering the screen with their hand in order to bypass Forbidden Wednesdays – sorry!! But I guess that is part of the reason that I enjoy doing them so much. As Dee says, women need to be as proud of our sexuality as men are, and we need to be able to enjoy it without cringing. For instance, my best friend and I rarely talk about sex. I know, right? But she is very quiet about her sex life and other than a few private conversations about problems she’s had, I respect her unspoken wish to not get into depth about each others sex lives. Enough about this, however, and onto the Forbidden Wednesday topic of today!

Threesomes

There is something a little bit shocking, a little bit naughty, and a little bit titillating about the idea of being in a threesome. I will tell you right now that almost every person in this nation has, at one point in time or another, wondered what being in a threesome is like. And it’s not just men, here, ladies.

Many women I talk to have also said that they are intrigued and aroused by the idea of being in a threesome. They worry, however, that they will be jealous of their significant other, or that they will fall in love with the third person who enters into their intimacy.

First things first: man or woman? All men fantasize about having a second woman join into the fray, but do ladies want to try that as well? Actually, yes. Women are much more prone to being experimental when it comes to engaging in sexual intercourse with someone of the same species. Check around on some of the dating websites where couples hook up and you’ll find that a vast number of women check “bi-curious” as their sexual identity. Having another woman in bed with you can be fun in a vast number of ways, but it can also be tricky, especially if that third party is a single woman who is looking to find something more in your relationship. This is why it is extremely important to talk to your partner, and to any prospective thirds, before you engage in any kind of sexual activity.

Alright, so men get to have their harem full of women, but what do us ladies want? I don’t know about you, but the idea of a threesome with two men is arousing, and kind of scary, all at the same time. I mean, with two ladies everyone can pretty much pleasure each other, but with two straight men, you’re the only one who can take care of their needs. So while the idea of having two men kissing and licking you all over could be extremely hot, think things through first. Is your significant other going to freak out if two dicks touch accidentally during intercourse? How will he feel if the other guy’s hand accidentally brushes against his? These are things that you need to discuss if you are thinking about bringing another guy into bed with you.

So what is my opinion about threesomes? Personally, I think that they are fine for certain people. I’ve seen a threesome destroy a relationship, and I’ve seen it bring relationships closer. The key to making a threesome work, it seems, is communication. Are you okay if this happens? What about if that happens?

I also think that threesomes should only be tried by a couple who is absolutely secure in their relationship. It is when doubts start creeping into things that problems begin to occur. Will you be okay if you go ahead with the threesome? What about if you don’t? If your mate says that he will be upset if the threesome doesn’t happen, you might not want to do it. You have to be fine with either outcome before you should fall into bed with another person.

Threesomes aren’t the answer to saving a relationship, but it can be a fun and enjoyable way for three adults to spend some x-rated time together. Just remember kids: play safe!

Awake, Alive, and Love caffeine!

I made it through yesterday - YES! Of course I felt as though I was a bit drunk and zombie-like yesterday, I survived! Thank you go everyone who left me some really sweet messages - it made it a bit easier to get through the day.

I passed out last night around 9:30 and barely woke up when Scott dragged my ass into the bedroom. Repeat it with me: sleep is good.

Toad had his first baseball practice last night...well...the first one since they dicked us around and finally decided where he should be. He absolutely loved it! It helps that there was a boy on the team that he already knew, and I am extremely thankful for that. He woke up this morning and said, "I can't wait for Wednesday!"

That just makes me happy.

The trampoline pad finally came in, so hpoefully we'll be putting the tramp up tonight! Score! If anyone wants to come over and watch me jump up and down on the trampoline while trying to avoid knocking myself out with my boobs, come on over!

Just FYI

When you fall asleep at 4:30 am an wake up at 7:30 am, its really easy to be dizzy and to almost pour your coffee into your sons breakfast drink.

I'm just saying!

My stomach was acting up last night for God knows what reason, and it took a number of pharmaceuticals, time spend with the toilet, my new best friend, a shower, and laying on the couch before I was finally able to fall asleep. Scott was a sweetheart and called at 7:15 to help me get up and to see if I needed him to come home. I don't need a nap, I just need a looonnnngg nap, which I will start after I take Babygirl to preschool.

Still Hope

Toad has a friend over to play for a few hours today - Petunia (there are 7 kids in his class, 2 are girls, and he's been good friends with Petunia for a long time).

Petunia: Enchanted is on the DVD rack! I love Enchanted!
Toad: Which part do you like the best? The "da da da" part? The "I've been dreaming" part?
Petunia: No...I like the part where she eats the poison apple. But I do NOT like the kissing part.
Toad: Me neither.

Remind me of this six or seven years from now when they decide to try kissing each other "as an experiment", will ya?

Forbidden Wednesdays – Belated Edition

Sorry I didn’t get the Forbidden Wednesdays post up until today! I had a very odd day yesterday. Lets ignore that, however, and get on with the fun.

NUDITY

There was a letter to the editor in our local weekly paper the other day talking about the nude beach we have that is fairly near to here. Have I ever gone?

Nope!

But everybody knows exactly where it is. The article was for nudity, basically telling people to lighten up a bit and enjoy their own body.

In our culture, the naked body has become taboo. It is perfectly fine to see a man bare chested, but a woman? Forget about it. But then, lets look at how far we’ve come. Many years ago in England, a woman seeing a man without his shirt on was grounds for a forced marriage, and a woman who even thought about showing her ankles was a harlot.

We’ve come a long way from living that extremely conservative existence, but we still have some barriers. I remember a few years ago when parents began rallying against images of naked baby girls and boys on commercials. They insisted that little girls be covered up with a bathing suit. Yeah, that makes sense, because all of us wear bathing suits when we’re cleaning ourselves.

Unfortunately a few really sick fucks have destroyed the word “innocence” with their twisted and disgusting ways, so we do have to be careful about what we show with children. But what about adults? Why can’t an adult walk around sans clothes?
I don’t have the answer to that, other than to guess that maybe it is societies way of keeping children safe (?), but what I can say is that it is perfectly acceptable to walk around naked in your own home.

Do I?

Again, no.

Its not because I am ashamed of the female form, but merely because I’m ashamed of my female form. I have no problem with men and women walking around naked, but you’d probably catch me with a sauri on in the same circumstances. It has nothing to do with being against it, and only with being against my big ass fat naked body. I look better with clothes…trust me.

How do you feel about nudity?

Bad Day

Do you think that its a coincidence that I downloaded "Bad Day" by the Chipmunks for my daughter today and I'm having one of the most horrible work days that I've had in a long time?

Me neither.

I promise I'll be back with Forbidden Wednesdays later this evening.

Crayon Works

I had a half a dozen roses delivered to me yesterday. If I didn't have to run to China and back today I would have photos up by now, but damn me and my procrastinating ass, I don't! But yeah, yesterday someone knocked on the door and there were a half a dozen roses, all in different colors, with a not that said "Without you, I'd wilt". I'm still kind of amazed he came up with something so witty - yes cliche'd, but witty anyway - on his own!

The boy did good.

Meanwhile my email has been DOWN thanks to Hughesnet being morons. They were all "Oh, we're going to make the new email pretty, shiny, and just dang gum better!"

Since Saturday they've been all, "Oh, things didn't go quite as planned, but we'll have things working better in no time, when they'll be pretty, shiny, and just dang gum better!"

Late last night it was, "Oh, we'll have all the new pretty things installed tomorrow morning by 6 am EST, and you'll love hot pretty, shiny, and just dang gum better it is!"

Uh huh. Bite my ass Hughes.

Time to Make the Donuts!

This weekend we made over 8 dozen donuts.

That’s a shitload of donuts.

We made them to be sold at the 3 on 3 Basketball tournament the fundraising club put together. Apparently last year EVERYONE was asking for donuts. So how much did I sell, you wonder?

About a dozen.

THIS year NO ONE wanted donuts OR coffee! They wanted water, water, and more water! I’m going to NOT make donuts next year.

After that Scott and I headed to Wal-Mart where we FINALLY got a patio set! YES! We set it up Sunday and watched Toad, Babygirl, and Toad’s friend roll around on the lawn in the box. There’s nothing like a huge empty box to make a kid happy.
I’ve been feeling kind of…off…lately. Things just haven’t really felt right. Of course, the hormones COULD have something to do with it (I’m actually going to be participating in a study for PCOS…it requires a lot of paperwork and TONS of my blood…blech…but maybe it’ll help them find out if it is hereditary and will help Babygirl when she gets older) but something just hasn’t felt right. I’ve told Scott (IN CRAYON) for the past few weeks that I really need a bit of romance in my life.

On the drive down to Wal-Mart he looked at me and said:

“Why? Why do you need romance? Why is it so important to you?”

“Let me put it this way,” I replied as calmly as I could, “when a guy first starts dating a girl, he goes all out to try to win her. He is a bit romantic and sweet because he’s trying to woo a woman.”

“Or to get her into bed.”

“Exactly! Anyway, after a man has won the woman, and has put the ring on her finger, ect, he doesn’t have to try anymore to win her.”

“Yeah…and?”

“Well, I don’t know about other woman, but I know that *I* feel as though I’m not appreciated…or, rather, am taken for granted, when there is no romance. Ever. Like, as in EVER.”

“So you think that I don’t romance you because I can get sex whenever I want?”

“Well, how often do I say ‘no’?”

“…..good point.”

Do I think that this worked on him? Probably not. He asked me later if there was never any romance in our relationship from now until we die, would I want to end things. I said no. Now, however, I don’t know how I feel.

I wouldn’t END things because he wasn’t romantic, just like he wouldn’t end things because I’m not the worlds best housewife. I think my thing is that I want him to make an effort. He got all upset and was talking about a Valentine’s day a few years ago.

“But remember when I bought you, like, a dozen roses and a box of chocolates? You didn’t seem to really care about them!”

“I liked them! I did! But first of all, Valentines day sucks for me. Secondly, flowers are best sent when they’re not expected. Rule #1 on Flowers…”

“Who makes these rules!”

“Women do.”

“How do you learn them?”

“We know them when we’re born. Rule #1 when it comes to flowers is to send them when a woman is NOT expecting them. That is when they will make the most impact and will be appreciated the most. Or when you’re in the doghouse trying to say that you’re sorry.”

So, do you see me sending out the red signal flags that I’d like a bit of romance, please? I swear I don’t know what else to do. My SIL made a comment yesterday that I tend to “bow down” (which is BS) to Scott all the time. In reality, I don’t bow down to him, but I do tend to make him his favorite meals or to try to do little things to show him that I care for him and appreciate all he does. I realized during the conversation that I do those things because I want him to do little things back for me.

And doing the laundry, unfortunately, doesn’t count as romance.

Babygirl On Celebrity Baby Blog

OMG - I'm totally freaking out. Winnie just pointed out that Babygirl's photo is up over at Celebrity Baby Blog! YIKES!

Remember a few weeks ago when we won a copy of Enchanted from the beautiful, oh so pretty site? I told the editor, Danielle (its hilarious to me that her name is Danielle, which is the same name as my best friend), that we were really excited about it, and she said that she'd love to see a photo of Babygirl with the DVD. Babygirl, being Babygirl, decided to get her tiara and pose with the DVD. Apparently today they put the picture up!!!

How awesome is that?! So - wait - if Babygirl's photo is on a website that discusses celebrities and their children, does that make me a celebrity?!

Hmmmm....

Check it out here

No More Bagels for Me

I just ate a bagel with cream cheese and I'm ready for a nap. It just ain't right folks!!

Today is just like any other day...for the most part. We're supposed to head to this circus thing tonight, but I'm not sure if we'll get seats. They give out free seats to all children (nice marketing gimmick), and the adult have to pay up the ass to get in. The only problem is that its first come, first served...EVEN IF you purchase tickets online. If you get there and there are no seats left, even if you have a ticket, you're SOL.

My SIL, meanwhile, is pulling some strange pranks. The other day Scott got pissy over something very silly. The SIL was with me and later made a point to agree with me and tell me that she thinks something is bothering him.

Yesterday, however, when he and I were talking about it...again...I told him that even SHE was worried about him, because he'd snapped so quickly at something that was really stupid. And that she thought he was bothered about something. He looked at me and said, "But Ran, she told me over the phone a few hours ago that she thought that you were the one that over-reacted."

See, now that's a pet peeve of mine. If you don't agree with me, that's FINE, but don't tell me one thing to my face and then say something else behind my back. So I'm not quite sure wht to do about it. I definitely think it is time to confront her about it (in a nice way...hopefully) because it keeps happening (this is, like, the third time lately we've seen it happen). But she's really delicate and I'm not sure how she'll take it.

Then again, when have I ever shut my mouth before? Any thoughts?

Forbidden Wednesday - 5th Edition

I've had a really, really odd/rough day, and its looking to get even better as the day progresses. Good news? The orthodontist has Toad on a "wait and see" plan, so I don't have to worry about his teeth for another six months. The bad news? The first baseball practice last night caused Toad to be unable to fall asleep until 9:30, despite all of my coaxing and demanding, and he wound up coming home around 12:30 because he was bawling and exhausted at school. *sigh*

Anyway, it's time for Forbidden Wednesday, and I've got something a bit different in mind today.

Romance

I've come to realize that romance does not come easily to the majority of men in the world, so I'm going to make romance very easy for men.

Open your ears and LISTEN.

Women give clues all the time about what they like. They may make a comment about finding something beautiful or about something they enjoyed doing when they were a child. Take that little piece of information and endeavor to remember it.

Another tip? I'm full of them, check this out - romance doesn't have to cost very much at all. How expensive is it to take your girlfriend/wife on a long drive, where you wind up at a beautiful meadow and eat a picnic lunch that you have prepared for the two of you? It'll cost you a few gallons of gas and the food, THAT'S IT.

How much does it cost to run a bubble bath for your lover? Light a few candles, put some good smelly stuff in the bath and take the time to rub her down and you're all set.

Now, ladies, there are those men who truly are built to ignore romance, and like it or not, it is something that the majority of us need. We may have different meanings for the word and may want different things, but we all need to feel special/cared for on occasion. Some women want to be dined and danced with while others want to be forcefully taken up against a wall. It can be a tricky situation for a man, so why not spell out what you'd like him to do? For instance, if you want to dance with your husband and you haven't danced together in a long time, why not say "hey honey - we haven't danced in forever. I'd love to dance with you again sometime, even if its just in the middle of the kitchen." This way you have stated exactly what you are looking for from your spouse and they don't have to read your mind, right?

Now, guys, here's where you come in - if a woman is intelligent/caring enough to make it blatantly obvious what she wants when it comes to romance, get off your ass and DO IT.

Have I ever looked right at my husband and told him that I was longing for certain romantic things to happen? Absolutely. Has he done them?

As of today - nope.

Conversation With My 17 Year Old Self

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go back and talk to your younger self? A post on Slacker Mama’s site made me wonder what a conversation between me and a 17 year old “almost-graduate” Randi would be like. Hmmmm….



Me – Hi Randi.

YoungRandi – Ummm…hello. Who’re you?

Me – I’m you. Older, wiser…

YR – Heavier.

Me – Hey now! You try having a couple of kids and see what its like!

YR – I have kids? No.Way. Really?

Me – Shit. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.

YR – How many kids? Four? Five?

Me – Try starting with one and then see if you really want four or five. So, I’m
here to talk to you about your future. I want to answer some questions for you and
give you some advice to make things a bit easier.

YR – Really? Sweet. This is like Back to the Future! Did I do something to really
mess up? Have you come back to try to fix it?

Me – No. You didn’t mess up on anything really, but there are some rough times
ahead, and I wanted to talk to you about them.

YR – I knew it.

Me – You knew what, exactly?

YR – I knew that I wouldn’t lose my virginity until I found someone uglier than I am.

Me – Urm…no…that has nothing to do with my visit.

YR – Oh. But you said I had kids, right – so that means I lost my virginity, right?

Me – Oookaaaayy – back to the subject. When you go to college…

YR – Do I really go to Notre Dame? Really?

Me – No, not really. You chicken out and decide not to go.

YR – What?! Oh my god…my mom is going to kill me!

Me – Relax, you do go to college. Just not Notre Dame.

YR – Where I meet a really handsome guy who sweeps me off my feet and takes my virginity, right?

Me – Well, your virginity was definitely taken, that’s for sure.

YR – But he’s butt ugly?

Me – No, he was cute.

YR – And it was amazing, right? It was in front of a fireplace with a bearskin rug and a dinner complete with champagne…

Me – You can’t handle alcohol, remember?

YR – Oh yeah. But the rest of it is right, right?

Me – Wrong.

YR – What do you mean “wrong”? I do lose my virginity to a handsome man on the most romantic night of my life, right?

Me – If you think of romantic as being rushed in a small dorm room because you’re scared that your boyfriend’s roommate will come home, than yeah! It was romantic as hell!

YR – Oh. But I live happily ever after with the guy, right?

Me – Nope. He dumps you when you are 20 for a 16 year old.

YR – No. No way. There is no way I’d get with a guy who would dump me for a 16 year old.

Me – Whatever you say.

YR – So what do I do now? Did I become a singer, or a lawyer?

Me – Neither.

YR – Huh? Neither?! If I go to college and don’t become a lawyer, what do I do?

Me – You’re a stripper.

YR – WHAT?!

Me – Kidding, kidding! Actually you’re a freelance writer. You make your living selling breast enhancement and weight loss products.

YR – I do know how to BS.

Me – You never lose that skill, that’s for sure, and now you get paid for it!

YR – So who am I married to? Some really rich guy, right?

Me – You’re really obsessed with the relationship thing, aren’t you? I’d forgotten about that.

YR – Well come on, you can see me, you know what I look like.

Me – Flaunt what you’ve got now, because, as you can see, it starts to go south
really, REALLY fast.

YR – Does my husband find me sexy?

Me – Most of the time. Sometimes he just wants to spank you.

YR – Huh?!

Me – Listen, I’ve really got to run. But let me give you one piece of advice that I don’t want you to ever forget.

YR – Okay.

Me – Boys are stupid, men are just as stupid, but there will be a select few who will prove to you that there are truly some good men out there. Trust them and believe them. But never, ever, let them give you directions. Oh, and if you happen to see a Scooter, hop on it and give it a ride. You’ll never regret it.

Never Mind

*Edited* I just realized that the previous post I put up this morning, about needing a new patio set because the one I have is a plastic hand-me-down that is ready for a funeral or two, didn't get put up. Huh. Weird. I'll have to put that up below this one.

Remember my desire to get a patio set? You know, one that isn't falling apart?

Scott came home today with a whole new scheme. See, apparently, we need a new roof. I must admit, this is the first time that I've ever heard that we need to have our roof redone. He claims that there is a leak on one small part, so the entire roof should be redone.

I honestly have no idea. I do know that Scott is no carpenter, and I want a second opinion before it gets done. And better yet, he wants to put metal on the roof because "you never have to replace it - it lasts forever." His estimate?

"$3,500 or so."

Okay sweetie, I'll just pull that out of my ass and give it to you.

Why is it that every time I want to purchase something for the home, he wants to do something even more expensive? I wanted one dog, he got two. I wanted a new television, he wants to get a huge plasma with a new stand and everything. I want a new patio set, he wants a new roof.

Is he trying to outdo me or something?

Make Up Thy Mind, Randi!

I don't want something extremely expensive, but I don't want a cheap piece of crap either.

What am I talking about? A patio set.

I'm flexible! Honestly! I either want a table and chairs with an umbrella, or a loveseat with a few chairs and a little coffee-type table.

But there's a problem.

He doesn't want anything that is made using woven materials becuase he says they don't last as long. Okay, fine. He, however, refuses to pay more than $200 for a patio set, leaving me with a choice between a plastic piece of crap, a plastic piece of crap, or a plastic piece of crap!

The problem - I don't want a plastic piece of crap! We've been using my mothers old patio set since we moved in here almost six years ago. The patio set is a white plastic one that looks as old as it is. Now, I've got no problem with secondhand things, and even go searching for them because they're less expensive, but this one has definitely had its day. Two of the chairs collapse if you even look at them the wrong way.

I greatly appreciate my mother giving them to us, but they're ready for a decent burial.

I love glass-top tables, and I even like the wicker ones with the cushions (even though I'm not a huge wicker fan). I'm willing to spend up to $400 for a nice set, but his budget is KILLING ME!!!!