Time For My Husband to Come Out Of The Closet

I've tried to hide this fact about my husband, but I'm afraid that I just can't. The signs have become too obvious and have, in fact worsened over time. The situation is getting out of control and I know that my husband needs to finally admit what is going on. After all, they say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step towards conquering it.

My husband, Scott, is a backseat gamer.

I'm sorry, I know. There is nothing more annoying than a backseat gamer, save maybe a robo-telemarketer (damn you John McCain!).

I've always known that he likes to watch video games and I like to play them, but more recently, as Toad has become able to play Link games and other more complicated games, he has begun to show his true colors. If Toad is playing Link, you'll hear something like this:

"Wait, why are you going that way? Toad, turn around - turn around - NO, turn around the OTHER way. Yeah, that way. See? Right there. Go pick that up. No, not that, the other thing. Yeah, that's right. Wait, wait for it - it'll tell you where to go. Now go follow that arrow. Check your map and see where you've gotta go...okay, you've gotta go left a little bit. See? Go left. Go left just a little bit dude. There you go - yup - keep going - you've got a long way to go. No, you've gotta go right past it dude...go left...NO go LEFT Toad! Go left - left left left left...right there. Keep going that way. LEFT Toad...you're going right...you're going to go right around the island if you keep going that way. Check your map again...okay, you're doing good. Keep going! Just keep going! Go ahead...you're going the right way. You're going the right way...stay on that path right there and you'll be alright...."

Yes, I took this directly from a conversation that JUST HAPPENED. Wait, calling it a conversation would say that Toad was having some active part in it, while in reality he was just sitting there trying to play. He's got WAY more patience than I do, as I'd have a fit if Scott were saying that over my shoulder the entire time I was playing.

Do they have support groups for backseat gamers?